Saturday, April 30, 2011

Potty Boot-Camp Day 4

I have to just keep reminding myself that it is ONLY day 4, and on day 30 I will continue to remind myself it's ONLY day 30.

Today was easier, but yet harder at the same time. Judge his gotten a LOT better about sitting on the potty when he hears his timer go off. This is a great thing. He will go in and sit on the potty, I set another timer, and when it beeps he can get up. I still join him from time to time in the bathroom, but it was nothing like we were doing when we first started.

I think he has learned to hold it to a certain degree. We had to take Annabelle to the soccer field today and he held it from the time we left the house until the time we got back home (45 minutes). He even kept reminding me, from the back seat, "We don't pee pee in our car seats."

He is also getting great at stopping when he starts peeing and he is not on the potty. The bad thing is that he stops when he is on the potty too. He only peed 2 1/2 times today. 1 1/2 on and 1 off, but the time he peed off he was inside the bathroom! :)

I know, "How did he pee a 1/2 a time?" Well we were sitting on the potty and he would start and the minute he saw it coming out he would stop it. This happened about 4 times in the span of an hour. By the 4th time I had had enough and had to walk out of the bathroom. Thank God it was bath time because that gave me a great excuse to "give up" for the day. I know he thought all of this was a big game, because he would start peeing and when he or I noticed he would instantly stop, and start laughing. I then would beg and he would laugh even harder. So I gave up begging.

I think I still need to learn that just because I THINK he needs to go doesn't mean he does. Also I need to keep reminding myself that just because I KNOW he has to go that doesn't mean he is going to. He has only been peeing about 3 times a day so I think I may have to lay off a little bit. I do want him trained but I am going to have to just let it happen. There is no use stressing us both out or getting aggravated over it. I am not saying that I won't get aggravated. I need to try harder to remind myself in those moments that this isn't going to last forever, and that he will one day get it.

It is very very easy to get discouraged. You want them to train so bad. But it's not going to happen until they make up their mind that they want to. By the 8th time in the bathroom I do start to doubt myself. Can I do this? Is it worth it? Is he even getting this? But I have to put those thoughts out of my head. I know I can. Women do it every day all over the world.

So with everyday that passes I end up getting a little more encouraged that I can do this. Not because he is peeing on the potty but because I haven't just given up and put him back in diapers. I almost did but in the end I didn't throw in the towel. I have stuck with it. I know he will not be in diapers when he graduates high school, so who cares if it takes 3 months to train him. Thank God I started now I guess. I just have to keep thinking positive. Negativity will get me NO where. It will just make me want to pull my hair out.

Leaving it up to God and Judge tomorrow, and praying he doesn't flip out about having to wear a pull-up to mass.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Potty Boot-Camp Day 3

Letting go.

I have learned a very valuable lesson today in potty training.

"Just because I want him to pee, that doesn't mean he is going too."

What I mean by this is, no matter how much I wanted him to pee on the potty it wasn't going to happen unless he wanted to too. I could make him sit on the potty but unless he needed or wanted to go, nothing I was doing was going to MAKE him go. I could beg and I could bribe, but none of that really mattered. I just had to let go. I had to realize that he was not going to make it every time. I really had to accept that this is going to take time. Yes I wanted it to happen overnight, but I want to win the lottery too. We don't always get what we want.

Today was easier, but he only peed on the potty once out of the 3 times he went. I think he is learning to hold it. I mean after a gallon of grape juice only peeing 3 times. The kid must have a bladder the size of Texas. But progress is progress, I will take it where I can find it these days.

We did try the new routine today and it worked A LOT better for mom. We started with 10 minutes on and 10 minutes off. The good thing is that mom was not in the bathroom all day. I set the timer and told him to listen and when it went off he could get up. So he would go in and sit. I only went in about every 3 times and I would read a book or spend a few minutes with him. He was pretty happy with this for about the first 3 hours. Then it became too much for him he was tired of sitting in the bathroom. He was becoming restless and I had to be in there more and more. I didn't mind but he was becoming more and more irritable and frustrated.

So we then started going every 15 to 20 minutes and that worked a little better, but he still wasn't peeing. He had held it for almost 6 hours. I was desperate for a shower so I put him on the potty in my bathroom while I jumped in. What do you know. He started peeing! It was going everywhere, he was screaming, and I was covered in soap from head to toe. I jumped out of the shower (almost busted my butt) to try and help him hold it down (his penis). When I did though he stopped and didn't want to start again. I sat and sat and sat and nothing happened so I told him good job and we went back down stairs. I turn my back for 2 seconds and when I turn around he had finished peeing ALL OVER THE FLOOR. I was so frustrated, but I refused to let him see. I got him a towel and the laundry basket. I made him clean the floor, then change his under pants, and finally put the laundry basket away. I did let him know that I was very disappointed in him and that I was not happy at all.

I think we are still going to change things up again tomorrow. I think I will give him longer time in between when he gets off the potty and when he goes back on. I also think naps are going to be coming back tomorrow. He is just getting too tired. By 2 he is beat and sick of the whole "potty" thing. So I think for both our sanity we will be doing naps tomorrow. A nice little break in the middle of the day sounds heavenly to me.

This does seem like a never ending battle. I have to teach him to pee on the potty. Then to poop. Then hold it down. Then to stand and pee. When I start thinking of everything that is still left to do I do get very discouraged. But I am committed. I will NOT go back to diapers. I can not say there aren't moments that I start replaying my old excuses in my head. But I have to stay strong. I have to stick to it. I can't give up. He isn't going to train himself.

This is a learning process for both of us. So I will continue to change things. And I will continue to hope a pray that something sticks.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Potty Boot-Camp Day 2

They say the first day you spend with a new routine is often known as the "Honey Moon" stage. Well they are right. The first day was a little trying, but after staying dry all day it was going to take A LOT to discourage me.

Exhausting, frustrating, and just plain bad doesn't even begin to describe my day. I thought today would be fun, and we would stay on the yellow brick road to success. WRONG WRONG WRONG. It was torture. By the end of the day my patience with everyone was totally shot.

Judge has learned that if he doesn't go we can play in the bathroom and he will have 100% of moms attention. So he would start to go I would get excited and he would stop. This in turn made me want to lay down on the rail road tracks behind the house, because I felt he was doing it on purpose. And that was just one problem from today.

I thought I had a great game plan going in. We would spend 15 minutes on the potty then take a 15 minute break if nothing happened and an hour break if something did. Well that all went out the window by by 10 am.

The problem with this is that we made the potty so much fun he wants to sit on it. When we get in there before you know it an hour has passed and nothing has happened. After all that I don't want him to get up 1. because I know the 4 glasses of juice he just had has to be ready to come out and 2. because we have been in there so long I don't want him or me to feel like the hour we spent in there was for nothing. So we sit and wait and sit and wait until I want to pull my hair out. Then I let him up and what happens the minute I turn my back? HE PEES ON THE FLOOR! Something has to change. I am trying to come up with a new plan for tomorrow because what I did today is NOT working. It is just driving mommy crazy!

He did pee on the potty 3 out of the 5 times he peed today, which is a very good thing, but we spent over 5 hours in the bathroom. After spending that much time in the bathroom by the end of the day we were both beat! I had really had enough. I could feel my grasp on my frustration slowly slipping away. I don't want to be the mom that spanks her kid to get him to pee on the potty. I refuse to make this a horrible experience for him. I want him trained, but there are a few things that I just will not do. So yes, something is going to have to change tomorrow. Time for a fresh approach a new game plan (or maybe I will try the one I wanted to try today but didn't succeed in trying.)!

I am keeping my fingers crossed and just praying that something clicks for him tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Potty Boot-Camp Day 1

I started training Judge today. We have taken away ALL diapers and now only have big boy pants during the day and a pull up at night.

It was challenging but we made it through day 1 of potty boot camp DRY!!!

We started this morning we had a fun filled 2 hours on the potty. We played puzzles read books and he finally went pee pee on the potty. To say I was proud just wouldn't do the situation justice.
He started to pee at one point (this is where mommy learned an important lesson) and it went everywhere so he "stopped it" you could say. Then with a little encouragement he started back up again, but this time his gun was pointed south.

After he peed on the potty I made such a big deal about it. He got a car, suckers, and M&M's. He was really proud of himself but still really unsure about the whole "big boy pants" thing. He kept asking for his diaper back. Thank GOD I had Thomas the Train underpants (*Note to all moms make sure you have really cool/speacial underpants in case this problem arises.) I finally talked him into wearing his new underpants. The bets had been placed, would he or wouldn't he pee in them.

He didn't! He went 2 1/2 hours completely dry and then it was back to the potty. Another 2 1/2 hours on the potty and he did it again!! HE PEED IN THE POTTY!!

After all the trouble he gave me today about wearing big boy undies, tonight when it was time for the pull-up he cried and said he wanted to wear his undies to bed. Dennis and I finally talked him into putting the pull up on and he went to bed dry! Lets all hope he is dry in the morning.

Yes is was a VERY VERY VERY long day in the bathroom, but it was so worth it. When Judge started to get discouraged I just changed it up. We would play a different game or read a new book. Today was all about letting him see where the pee comes out and learning the mechanics of it all.

So I would say day 1 of potty boot camp was a complete success!! Day 2 starts tomorrow at 6 am. We will still be using POSITIVE reinforcement (NO NEGATIVITY, the potty is a happy and fun place.) We will be changing a few things, like how long we sit on the potty and how often we go. But we have our potty treats (M&M'S and suckers) and a bag of new match-box cars (he will earn one each time he pees on the potty.) Everyone keep your fingers crossed for another good day tomorrow and hopefully we will get a poop in the potty tomorrow.

Still learning

I am not a perfect mom or wife nor have I ever been or ever will be. I do try my best everyday to do the best I can at this wonderful job God has entrusted in me as a wife and mother. I just wanted to get that out of the way before I got to the real lesson of the day. I am not saying that what I was doing was wrong, but I certainly needed to take a longer look at what is/was most important. I just feel as though I have learned a very important lesson today as a mother and I wanted to share.

Today I started potty training our second born, Judge. To say I have been dreading this day would be the understatement of my life. I have been putting it off and finding excuse after excuse not to do it. I had it in my head that I was going to do it after baby number 4 arrived and before school started next year. Well to put that in perspective I would have 2 1/2 months in which I would give birth, recover, and train a 3 year, all while adapting 3 kids to having a new sibling in the house. Yes typing it out it seems even crazier then I first thought.

So what made me decide to "bite the bullet" and do it before then. Well I have to give all the thanks to my best friend Mrs. Karen Hudson. Without her I would have kept putting it off and I know now he would have never started school in September. She gave me the encouragement that I needed to believe I could do it.

Yes we have an older child but it's a girl and she trained herself. Judge on the other hand wanted NOTHING absolutely NOTHING to do with the potty. And what did I know about training a boy? I was a girl. I know how girl parts work, but boys????? I mean really I don't think any mom is ever prepared for what comes with training a boy.

Anyway back to the whole lesson of the day. This morning after dropping Annabelle off at school and running by the store to pick up "potty treats" we came home and got straight on the potty. We spent 2 hours in the bathroom together, playing, talking, reading. It was HEAVEN. I felt as though I was seeing Judge through new eyes. This was the little man I had brought home from the hospital almost 4 years ago had really changed. He had grown. He was his own person. He wasn't just one of my kids, he was "Judge". He was my son. I carried him for 9 months. This is the child I once had rocked to sleep. He wasn't a number in a family he was a person. And boy that was just the first round on the potty.

He did go potty on the potty and we went and got Annabelle from school. When we got home it was time to go at it again. So from 2:30 until 5 Judge and I were back in the bathroom,talking laughing, playing, really we were just having a good time (with a few occasional visits from other siblings.) It was amazing just to see him laugh and really take it in. He laughs on a daily basis, and as any mom I smile and go on about my chores. But today my God to really see your child laugh, to see there eyes light up. I can't believe I have ever taken that for granted. It is a beautiful thing. Well after 2 1/2 hours in the bathroom he went potty again!!!!

Some of the important ?'s of the day answered:

Yes Judge stayed dry today and did great on the potty.
No my house was not cleaned.
Yes dinner was out of a box.
And No I didn't mind one bit!

As much time as we (mothers) spend in a car on a day to day basis bringing kids back and forth to activities that are supposed to make them smarter, or help them achieve in a certain area of life. How much time do we really spend "with" our kids? Really think about it the time we spend on our computers or on our phones, or the time we spend cleaning house and cooking. How much of our undivided attention do our kids really get.

We are a society of multi-taskers. As a mom I really thought I was doing the best running from place to place everyday, making sure my kids were involved in as many things as possible so they would be able to "keep up with the Jones". But what I was really doing was depriving them of time with me, and depriving myself of time with them. We all ask ourselves "Why do their young years fly by?" It because we are not there. We may physically be there, but if your mind isn't there then your heart can't be there.

It's the little things that we as mothers take for granted. A smile, a laugh, a cheesy joke from our five year old. It's these things we take for granted on a daily basis, but it is these things that we try so hard to get back as they grow older. It is these things that we will miss when they are grown. It is these things that make being a mom the best, most rewarding job in the world.

So tonight after I had tucked my kids into bed and I was cleaning the disaster of a house, I realized many things for the first time:

1. House work will still be there in the morning.

As I was standing in the middle of the play room, arms loaded down with toys. I thought "I could have made the kids clean this. Or I could have squeezed this in somewhere in my day." But then I started laughing, I remember the smiles and laughs I got from Judge earlier in the day. Cleaning this should have been put on the back burner. This isn't worth missing time with my kids over. We all say housework can wait, but most of us try and cram it in here and there in our busy schedules. By saying this I am not saying you need to totally let your house go to dogs, but that some things can really wait. So as I put the toys back in their places I had a smile on my face because I knew my day had been spent exactly where it should have, on the floor in the bathroom, with my son.

2. Dinner may have to come out of a box some days.

I am no where near saying we will become a family of take-out menus, but it is ok not to have a 5 star meal waiting on the table when dad gets home.

3. Being a mom is not only about being physically present for your kids. It is about being there, completely there 100%. That old saying "mind, body, and soul" now has new meaning for me.

I am not saying we can do this all day everyday I am saying we as mothers need to try harder to notice when these little moments arise, so we can take advantage of them so we don't look back one day and have so many "should have, could have, would have"'s.

4. They really are only little for a a little while.

When you have young kids I don't think you get it. They grow up in spite of you not because of you. Before we know it they will be going off to high school and college and we will be the women saying "I don't know where the time went!" I am going to try my hardest not to be someone who says "When did they grow up?" I want to be able to sit at my sons graduation and day dream of the years of the fun we had playing together, not riding here and there in a car. I want to be able to recount hours upon hours of the time my daughter and I spent together.

Things can wait.
You never know when this will all be gone.
Enjoy it while you can.

I could sit a write for hours about how it felt to block the whole world out for a day and just spend it with my son but I would be up all night. So Yes I think Judge got the lesson in potty boot-camp today, but I to learned quite a few things. I am happy and pleased to say my kids are still teaching me lessons on life EVERY single day.