I wanted to move these from my old blog. hope you all enjoy them! I sure cracked up when I read them again. The things we have done to one another!
I love my husband dearly! If I say it enough times maybe I won't kill him!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
While all this was happening I had time to call the cops and tell them the whole story while he is somewhat on the floor and fumbling around in the closet. Well needless to say it was not a gun shot it was .... well i might as well tell you.... a fire cracker. How embarrassing. I woke my poor husband up for a fire cracker. Now I am sitting down stairs because Mr. cranky pants is in a bad mood and kicked mom out of the bed room because mommy woke him up (for a firecracker). Next time I will not wake him up until the robbers are in my bed!
Word to the wise don't wake your husband up after he has worked 36 hours straight for a firecracker. In my defense who shoots fire works on the 13th of June. I am sorry I woke him but it was kind of worth it because I have laughed so hard I now have heart burn. I swear if we didn't have kids he would probably be filling for divorce, and if I were not preggo I may be outside. Note to all women if your husband really pisses you off, wake him up with the statment " "baby I hard a gunshot." and enjoy the laughter that follows. It also works if you want to get out of sleeping in the same bed. I know from experiance.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
My husband is a Genius. That statement says a lot. No really he is truly one of the smartest people I know. When it comes to anything "book smarts" he is the smartest person I know. But dear God when it comes to common sense he is as hopeless as a fish out of water. I truly think that God took off the day he was supposed to give him his "common sense chip". And once again at around 9 this morning my theory was proven again.
I was trying to prepare tonight's dinner and I noticed I needed some flour. So as any normal person would do I go to the cabinet to get my flour. When I reach for it I notice a small blue bowl sitting in front of it. So instinctively I try to remove it to get to my flour, but it won't move. I try a little harder. Still nothing, so I yank on it. I swear that was the biggest mistake of the day. Out comes a waterfall of liquid, and hits me right smack in the face.
At first I think what is a bowl of water doing in my cabinet. But then simultaneously this awful smell hits me and I realize that that wasn't water ( It was the yeast my dear sweat husband was trying to grow). Oh my the smell. The smell was so over whelming. As the liquid ran down my face and I began to gag the smell got worst and worst. I could not believe that this little bowl could have so much liquid in it ( and it hit me, pregnant me right in the face).
It was a very hard smell to describe. It was a mixture of rotten beer puke, and an that one Easter egg that had been hidden under your front porch for 6 months. After wiping my face and spraying so much Lysol I couldn't see, I called him. Now if all that didn't prove that he had no common sense what so ever, what he said next did. After telling him my horrifying story (while breathing through my mouth, and stripping my stinking shirt off.) He ask "You didn't through it away did you?" Forget about worrying about his pregnant gagging wife, he is worried about this concoction that has almost killed me. YES YES YES!!! I through it out and if anything of that sort is brought back into my house ever again I will through it and the person that brings it in out!!
After I finished my screaming fit I took a shower. I used every type of soap we own and the smell was still there. So I got the dish washing liquid and finally it dulled the smell enough so I could breath without gagging every five seconds.
If my morning does not once and for all prove that this man has absolutely no common sense nothing ever will. I still love him but I will get him back! After I get this smell off completely. Who knows there may be another fire cracker go off. But this time it may be in our bed room, under his side of the bed.